Breakdowns

It all happens to us at some point. The world gets to be a bit too much and you just can't hold it in anymore. Dad and I both had breakdowns this week. Dad's was first. He was getting frustrated that his arm wasn't working properly (he has nerve damage from his latest surgery and doesn't have full motion in his left arm) and accidentally knocked a glass of juice over with it. He sat there with his head in his hands, crying in a way I had never seen him do before. My sisters and I cleaned up the juice and he went upstairs to his room. I finished cleaning up the mess and we all went up and hugged him.

My breakdown was days later. I was at the kitchen table with dad having my morning cup of coffee. I don't remember what he said exactly, but I just burst into tears. All of the stress from trying to finish my senior year, adapting to school at home, taking care of him, taking care of the house, not seeing my partner because of the pandemic, all of it came crashing down. Dad came over and hugged me, telling me everything will be okay.

I made this comic right afterwards. I drew it on my window, reflecting about being quarantined and fearing what could happen if we weren't careful enough. I ended up fixed on what my mom always says, "We have to take it day by day."

Finally Free / (Don't) Ask Alexa

Dad was in the hospital for about a week after his emergency surgery and he recovered enough to come back home. We're all really happy to have him back, although he's still in a pretty rough spot. He has antibiotic infusions that are constantly hooked up to a port in his arm, and he has to take shots and saline infusions along with his insulin every day. It's a lot to handle, especially when he's still so weak, so it's understandable that he's not feeling very positive. There are little moments though, like this Alexa one, that bring some joy back into our lives.

More Bad News

Dad is still in the hospital and we have still not seen him. They found out that the port in his chest used for his chemo treatments had become infected, and the infection had spread to his spine. The infection created an abscess that was putting immense pressure on dad's spine, and causing all of the extreme back and neck pain he was having. So, they are taking dad into emergency surgery today to remove the abscess. I got to talk to him on the phone. He was scared. I could hear his voice shaking. I think mine was too. After we got off of the phone he sent me texts reminding me of where to find all of the passwords to his accounts and who to talk to if he didn't make it.